Competition isn’t everything. Aquinas College tennis coach Jerry Hendrick hopes with his latest endeavor to illustrate that point.

After many years of his own athleticism - competing in sporting events during his childhood and college days - Hendrick graduated from college with what he describes as “the bug” for coaching, garnering experience in social work as well. In 1990, Hendrick took a position as Aquinas’ tennis coach. Describing his interview with Aquinas for the coaching job, he said he got the feeling that it was “the right thing” to be at Aquinas, though he had previously been offered a position at another school. Hendrick has since served the Aquinas community for 21 years, describing tennis affectionately as “my game.”

Outside of his contributions to the Aquinas athletics department, Hendrick is heavily involved in Michigan social work. He emphasizes most of all that he is a parent, and it is in his parenting experiences that he has found the inspiration to launch a new undertaking: Hendrick has written a book.

Drawn from years of coaching Aquinas tennis and parenting, Hendrick’s book “I Love You… (But You Should Have Won!)” is billed as a guide for parents with children who participate in athletics. “I Love You” was conceived as a reminder of what an impact supportive parenting can have on a child faced with the pressures of competition and sport. It is laced with important gems that Hendrick has discovered through his various roles in the lives of others.

“I’ve got three areas of life that I’ve been involved in for twenty years: coaching, teaching, and parenting,” Hendrick said. “Over these past two decades, lots of things have been learned - lots of highs and lows. All of that came together and led to my thought of putting together a workbook to help other parents whose kids play sports.”

Describing himself as “competitive by nature,” Hendrick admits that winning was most important to him early in his career. “Early on, I think in many ways it was still about me. I wanted my team to beat that guy and his team. And as time passed, I grew as a coach and - I think - as a person, and realized that it has nothing to do with me.” He adds that competition is still important, but that he has developed a new perspective. “I certainly have a deeper appreciation for what lasts and what doesn’t last.”

Hendrick said that he doesn’t recall one particular moment that led him to write a book. Instead, he recounts multiple experiences that ultimately encouraged him to share what he has come to understand about sports, family and life in general.

“In 2006, when my daughter got cancer, that really brought about a period of reflection and introspection,” he said. “Spending a year living in DeVos Children’s Hospital and meeting other families whose kids also had played sports - you gain, through those kinds of traumatic experiences, a much clearer perspective of why we’re doing what we’re doing, what role sports should play in the life of a kid, how a parent should show their love and support to their kid. All of that stuff just became clearer during that period.”

Hendrick cites his experiences as being instrumental in creating a new mindset for him, a mindset he said, “You can’t get out of; not that you would want to - but you can’t go back.” Much of these experiences were initially recorded in a blog. As pieces Hendrick wrote reflecting on his family’s journey began to circulate in the lives of others who found them meaningful, he eventually thought it might be best to write formally about what he has learned, a project which has produced three manuscripts, the latest being “I Love You…”

Hendrick’s journey has affected his coaching as much as his parenting, causing him to emphasize the relationships built and cemented by participating in a competitive sport. That isn’t to say he no longer values healthy competition, saying of the Aquinas tennis program, “We definitely have goals!” Still, Hendrick’s renewed perspective has made an impact both on and off the court, and he recounts instances where his outlook has caused him to coach differently than he might have early in his career.

Of his work with Aquinas athletes and how these moments have contributed to his outlook on leadership, Hendrick warmly tells a few stories of highlight games and past chats with individual students, concluding affectionately: “There have been tons of really valuable lessons I have learned.”